Standing here on my plateau...waving at you on yours...

We all reach a point in life where we are stuck in a rut.  Whether it’s with work #insert curse words here#, the grind of everyday life, your relationship, your health, your weight… we have all been there.  So even though this plateau-thing seems common-place, it’s not exactly the perfect place to be…but because I tend to look at life through my pretty rose-coloured lenses, I’ve decided that being on a plateau is a great opportunity!  The good thing about being on a plateau is that 1) you know it, 2) it gives you the chance to re-evaluate things, and 3) it gives you the perfect opportunity to get off your butt and DO and make the changes that you need to make so you can happily go mountain-climbing again!

I think we can all agree that it’s about impetus, and getting things moving.  So I’m going to use the analogy of my weight here.  I have been on the LCHF eating plan pretty much most of the year.  Weight has been steadily dropping off, and myself and my group of friends have been seeing some awesome results.  Then came winter…we exercised less.  We felt like red velvet cake and the odd carb.  We started drinking creamier and creamier coffee till it tasted like pudding itself.  We drank a bit more wine.  And then tasted something here and there.  And guess what? Yip, plateau with a giant P!  We have been talking about this plateau for weeks now and luckily for us, help was on the way…one of the leading LCHF bloggers and experts on this eating plan in Sweden, Monique le Roux-Forslund, happens to be my besties’ sister.  She also happens to be in Cape Town for a couple of weeks so we decided to have lunch and ambush her with lots of plateau questions.  As we were eating an amazing lunch, we chatted and this is what I got out of our conversation: 1) you can make something difficult or you can make it easy, 2) if you want to see results you gotta change something, and 3) sometimes you have to think out of the box.   

So with all that in mind, I needed to evaluate myself against the 3 things we talked about…first thing, I decided I am going to make my weight loss easy.  I know that carbs are bad for me (especially because of my insulin resistance), so why the hell I eat what I know makes me feel awful AND put on weight I really just don’t know.  I need to just stop making it hard for myself (yes, it is really that simple).  Second thing, I need to change some things…in the context of eating LCHF, I realised that I was not eating enough high fat, and that sometimes the carb content of foods was too high.  Change things up.  I also need to up my exercise, because exercise creates endorphins which make you feel fantastic and motivated and then you eat well etc etc.  The third thing…sometimes you have to think out of the box….and boy was this out of the box.  The lovely Monique demonstrated how you think out of the box with a cup of bullet coffee.  Bullet coffee is a relatively new idea coming out of the states and it complements the LCHF way of life.  But before you start thinking that it’s a miracle enema, let me assure you it is not.  So yay for that!  It is, however, coffee mixed with about 3 tablespoons of butter and a tablespoon of coconut oil.  And breathe.  Yep, I’m not making this up.  So with our gagging reflexes at the ready, we headed to the kitchen to have a bullet coffee…and…. it was actually not bad AT ALL.  In fact, I rather liked it!  The benefits are that you are ingesting a high volume of the good type of fat and it keeps you full for ages and it has amazing health benefits and speeds up weight loss (so watch this space).  Now if that is not thinking out the box … then show me what is!! 

Getting back to this as an analogy of the plateau-like status in the various parts of our lives…jobs, relationships and daily life…firstly, we have to choose how to view something…our thoughts have immense power and can inspire us to action or they can lead us to failure.  The key word here is choice.  Only you have the power to make a positive choice in whatever aspect of your life. I love Dr Seuss and one of my favourite quotes is this “Think left and think right and think low and think high.  Oh! The thinks you can think up if only you try!”.  So make a decision that you are going to CHOOSE to view your life in a positive light for all the glorious chaos that it entails. 

Secondly, you may also need to change something to move you on from the plateau – sometimes you gotta realise that your job is going nowhere and they are never going to appreciate you for what you do and will never pay you what you are worth.  You need to change it.  Again, only you can do this.  But imagine what can happen if you do? Imagine taking the leap and getting to do something you love?  Only you can limit your own possibilities!

Lastly, but not least…sometimes you have to have a “bullet coffee” and think out of the box to do what you need to do to get your life moving in the direction that you want.  This could apply to your relationship too.  Long-term relationships are hard.  After that first glow wears off, you and your partner are in it together, come hail or sunshine, that’s it.  And sometimes, just sometimes, when life happens, and along with it kids, lack of sleep, money (or lack of it), your and your partners’ families in all their glory and all the other stuff that entails a relationship…you come to the realisation that you have not taken out enough time for you as a couple and you hit a plateau.  Maybe you need to think out of the box.  If that means spicing things up 50 shades of grey style, go for it, whip in hand!  Maybe it means going to see a counsellor and learning how to communicate effectively.  Maybe it means that you need to acknowledge that things are not good and then decide to move from there.  Be what it may, only you have the power to change things.

All in all, I can say this, life can be tough, and even more tough if you feel like you are stuck in some shape or form.  But remember this, please.  Life, for all its’ toughness is also beautiful, sometimes at its most beautiful right in the middle of your chaos or mundane day…but get this…you will only see it if you choose to notice and appreciate it.  Albert Einstein said “Life is like riding a bicycle.  To keep your balance, you must keep moving”.

So evaluate, change things up, have that bullet coffee and we’ll wave at each other from our respective plateaus for the very last time today!

Till next time,

Yours in love handles

xx

From getting inspired to doing inspired...

Its just gone the end of the 18th of July.  The 18th is International Mandela Day and it is recognised, actioned and supported by millions of people around the world, doing their bit by giving of 67 minutes of their time in doing something for a person or people in need.  This day for me is always extremely profound and important because it gets me thinking about the driving force behind the man we know, love and respect as Madiba and Tata.  The more I think about it, the more I realise that politics aside, this man's inspiration is deeply entrenched in his own humanity, coupled with a great humility of the limits of what one man can accomplish.  This burning humanity I think, is what has made Madiba the visionary that he is, and it is his vision that people practice humanity in the true sense of the word...for what could be more human than unselfishly doing something for someone else?  Stripped of that which makes us "better"than someone else, are we not simply sharing our existence with fellow human beings who, like us, experience all that makes us human?

I can't think of a better person to be inspired by.  Madiba has led by example, has affected change, has forgiven, forged relationships with enemies...and remains respected, awed and loved the world over...after 67 years of public service.  Wow.  I think the biggest lesson his own example teaches is that of acting on inspiration and belief. In doing.  His life has been focused on affecting change, but sometimes it doesn't have to be as big as that.  Sometimes acting on a spark of idea, or creating something new, or sharing a thought is the start of change, and in turn inspiring someone else.  I think Madiba sums it up in his own words “And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same”.  So, let your lights shine, let them burn brightly...all the while remembering your humanity with humility.

It is really with these thoughts that I travel to Washington DC to attend the semi-annual International AIDS conference...this conference brings together thousands of researchers, activists, policitians, funders, celebrities, scientists, journalists ... all with one commonality...the fight for an HIV-free generation.  Passion, inspiration, science and activism play out across the week, and I am reminded how, without people who dedicate their lives to make a difference, who really use their humanity as a driving force to effect change or research behaviour, or report on important issues, or fight for equality and justice...we could never hope to have a better world. And without inspirational people, people whose lights shine, regardless of what it is they do...where would we get the reminder that we each have our own lights to turn on? 

So...go on...flick that switch, take the leap...

More from me from Washington...

Yours in love handles....

Me
xxx

The little things....

Looking at my daughter, my god children and my nephews, I realise that life is passing by extremely fast...in retrospect it seems like I was pregnant for 5 minutes and now my Emily is suddenly nearly 3.  I am also turning 35 this year, well this month (sob!) and this morning I had a "chat" to my hubby...about us seriously thinking about No 2 and all that having a baby entails.  All of this got me thinking about how we very rarely stop and smell the flowers because life gets so busy...and how often we put things off because "now is not the perfect time" - not realising that there will never be a perfect time...ever!  Whilst unfortunately I can't halt time (trust me, if I had the secret formula I would halt the ever-increasing wrinkles!), I have decided to catch a wake up and appreciate the little things, stop procrastinating and start DOING (and I'm not just talking about baby-making here)!!

Just like anything else, appeciation and enjoyment I think are decisions that you have to make so that you view and approach things in a different way, almost like taking off your busy blinkers and refocusing on the blur as your life speeds by.  Do you remember when you were a kid?  How you didn't want to go to sleep at night for fear you might miss out on something, or how you couldn't wait to jump out of bed in the morning to get the day started?  A few things stand out in my mind as particularly special.  I remember feeling so excited to help my dad plant vegetables, and then seeing them grow!  It was magical!  Putting on my mom's purple boots (oh how I wish I had those boots now, they were SO cool) and how she let me wear them to the library (I must have looked absolutely ridiculous...but that day I felt like I was the bees knees!) Making a "house" out of blankets and then sleeping there with my brother and our friends...staying awake until what we thought was midnight to sleepily eat our midnight snacks...wow!  All that pure joy does get diluted with the onset of hormones...and for most...it doesn't really come back does it?

Well, I am of the opinion that for those of us who get to have children, god-children, grandchildren, its almost like we get a second chance to remember what being a kid feels like...to see the wonder in a childs' eyes the first time they see a butterfly, the complete unadulterated pleasure when they catch a ball, or go on a ride, or laugh at themselves in a mirror...or do something themselves...the list is endless...and how fortunate we are to experience those things with them.  Those little things are the big things, their experiences shape who they are, and our interaction and being truly present in these moments creates a bond that will stand the test of time...and hopefully the hormones!

This amazement and appreciation should extend beyond our children too.  Something I have learnt (with litres of coffee and hours of talking and learning from amazing women and mothers) is that you need to have balance so that you CAN appreciate other parts of you and your life that are equally important.  Too much focus on one thing throws you out of kilter...and out of kilter means not being in a space to appreciate anything! Being in that space often makes us procrastinate because things are just not "right" to do this or do that...and before you know it...you are still in the same dead end job, unhappy space...and years have gone by in a blur with no outstanding moments to mention. Sound familiar? 

When last have you really just taken the time to look at the people that fill your life (warts and all) and really thought about what they mean to you and telling them that? Too often we are so focused on going the distance, that the foreground becomes blurred...all the people in our lives sort of melt into one fuzzy shape, for comfort, reliance, assistance, company, support...essentially all that makes our lives worth living.  Scary thought isn't it?

Thinking about all of this makes me realise this: Take the time to enjoy it when your child wraps their arms around you and says I love you, or better yet...grab them now and tell them you love them!  BBM, facebook, text or phone your friends when they cross your mind or miss them.  Have coffee with your bestie.  Tell them how much they mean to you.  Write your partner a love letter.  Enjoy the smell of freshly roasted coffee beans when you grab your morning flat white for a moment before dashing off to start your day.  Give your mom and dad a hug (in-laws included).  Spend an hour with your grandparents.  Listen to the sound of rain drops against your window panes.  Take lots of photographs.  Start living a healthy life. If there are parts of your life that make you unhappy, change them...you have but ONE life to live...this one.  So make it count. There is so much to be thankful for, to enjoy and appreciate. With your new refocused eyes and state of mind...I promise you will be amazed. I dare you! 

Yours in amazement...
(despite the love handles...or perhaps...in celebration of the love handles...)

Me
xx

Finding your voice

I think I can safely say that we all like to be heard.  Whether its as a mother telling your child to listen 100 times a day, or expressing feelings and thoughts to a friend or partner, its important that we are taken seriously, that we get feedback and that we feel like in some way, we have made a contribution to a conversation, or a thought, or an emotion even.  I always felt like I had something to say about everything, large opinions and ideas that were just bursting out of me, but with no real outlet.  I realise now that in order to truly find your voice, you need a medium to express that.  But I also realise that saying something and doing something are two different things altogether, that part of finding your voice is having the guts to actually "do as you say" not "do as you do".  The old adage rings true....Ding, Ding!

In one of those lightbulb moments of an epiphany at 3am when I'm running through all the lists of things to do, Ive also figured that part of this finding your voice story is deeply embroiled in where you are at in your life and also finding the time, no, scrap that....MAKING the time to make your voice heard.  The same applies in a relationship.  I sometimes sit back and realise that myself and my husband haven't really talked....you know...TALKED...for about 2 weeks. Yes, we talk about everyday stuff and we live parallel lives and we co-exist happily and we raise our child together, but sometimes we don't actually make the time to sit and talk.  You have to make it a priority.  The same as this blog.   Here I have the perfect opportunity to make myself heard and share thoughts and feelings, get feedback, and the last time I blogged was pretty much a month ago!  Shock, horror!!!  

I think finding your voice is also about finding the confidence to share things about yourself, making yourself vulnerable as it were, so that either you feel validated in yourself, or that maybe someone has identified with you and don't feel so alone in what they are going through.  I especially think that issues of the weightier kind are hard.  Hard to deal with, hard to talk about and hard to share.  Who lately has come to you and said "I'm so sick of weighing 120kgs"......yep, thought so....ain't gonna happen.  So we sit and stew about it, and we think we are the only ones with the problem and we get depressed and we most likely sit down to a lovely large slab of choccie to feel better.  Ring true?  I thought so!  This is why shared experiences are so important.  So here I am, waving my flag from my island to yours....come, share, speak, I'm listening, we are all listening!  

So, as part of my voice outreach programme, wink, wink (!) I'm glad to say that my love handles are shrinking, and hell, they really ARE shrinking *pinch myself hard* and I feel fantastic!  As someone with PCOS, food has always been an issue, then I feel bloated, then I have the runs, then my blood sugar drops, then I am so ravenously hungry that I could devour a pizza.....and I used to do just that (blush)....but just admit it, I was not the only one!!  But with #LCHF the quality of my life has improved ten-fold.  Honestly, I feel for the first time in forever, that my life is not governed by food.  You know when you are on a diet, and all you think about is food...the old joke about being on a "seafood diet" ....all food I see, I eat? Well its so true.  Usually when you are starving yourself, or counting points or weighing food, all you can think about is food, and what you're NOT eating.  I can truly say its not the case with #LCHF.  The food is so divine and filling and the coffee with cream so delicious....but even so...for the first time in my life I am not thinking about food.  I often skip a meal, simply because I am not hungry.  When I remember to grab a quick snack like a handful of nuts at work, or a quick salad, great.  In terms of weight loss, I stopped losing for a couple of weeks, but amazingly, my clothes were still getting looser, so I was still losing centimetres.  Then, suddenly 2 kgs dropped off just like that!  And now my weight is on the downward spiral again.  Yay!  Admittedly I have been struggling to MAKE the time (note: not find the time, ahem!) for exercise because of late nights at work and a sick child and other commitments, but I am not punishing myself for that because this is not a crash course diet, its my life, and as long as I know I have set my goals for exercising, and I will get back on track, then I am cool with it. Plus, I have my sisterhood that will give me a swift kick to the backside if I don't!

I have a reason why I brought up the idea of finding your voice...its cathartic, enriching and joyous!! You can't see me right now, but I'm smiling, I promise!! :) And believe me, once you start talking, you're gonna want to start doing....BEWARE!!!! #justsaying

Yours in love handles,

xxx

Sisterhood of the travelling thoughts...

Its a Thursday night on the eve of a long weekend and I'm sitting at my desk at work.  I just got off the phone with my Bestie who in this last week has been working 18 hour days away from home and her kids to open up another one of her string of very successful stores whilst still juggling her other business. Another friend is busy writing a paper that she's presenting at a scientific conference on the weekend whilst marking a multitude of papers; another is leaving for the US in the morning to consult on a project, after having organised her life, her son and her husband for the week she is away; another is busy studying for exams whilst busy with her PhD and juggling project work and writing a proposal; another is a mother who is busy with a combination of dinner, friends, pets, children and a kiddies party tomorrow ... having come home after a long day at work...and the list goes on and on which includes you and and all the women you know...

All these busy, successful, hard working, amazing women got me thinking, about how us as women in our multiple roles stay inspired and motivated to keep doing what we do, how we manage to stay in the game with smiles on our faces and hands ready to catch whatever is thrown at us.  Whether its snot, projectile vomit, a budget, a proposal, an extra meeting, a friend in need, a sick parent, a stinky nappy....we are always there.  But what makes YOU tick?  I will tell you what makes me tick.  Its this.  Its knowing that I have a sisterhood of women that are pretty much, in whatever shape or form, probably going through, or have gone through or will go through what I'm going through right now.  I think apart from everything else that physiologically identifies me with another woman (size of hips apart!), this is what often keeps me going when times are tough. Do you ever have those light bulb moments, when in a flash, you suddenly have that moment of clarity and you feel like you are on top of the world and just "get it".  I live for those moments and I just had one whilst sitting here (hold the phone!!).  My light bulb moment tonight was the idea of sisterhood and how sharing thoughts and ideas amongst people that understand can make you stronger, keep you motivated, positive and a part of something so special its hard to even define. 

Men just don't get it, and no disrespect.  Peace out to you guys (and if you are still reading my blog after the last 2 paragraphs, BIG UP!).  I think I can safely say that men really are from Mars and women from Venus.  Part of this sisterhood is our ability, and yes I call it an ability, to vent...to be the ventee and ventor (yes, I just made that up...deal with it!).  Now what men don't understand is that a true vent is probably one of the most satisfying things you can do.  And no (if you are still reading, martian man) I am not talking about an air vent, I am talking about those let it all out moments when you don't necessarily know how or want to fix what you need to talk about, but you just wanna let it all out.  And boy do we know how to let it all out....there is nothing, and I mean nothing, like a good vent.  Cup of coffee or wine in hand, whether its with a friend or friends, it doesn't matter. After the vent, with your friend sympathising how bad your job is, and how unfair your husband is, or how bratty your children are, you know what the best thing is?  The unwavering support.  The "I will be there for you if all this does go to pot" the "I understand" and the sharing of thoughts and ideas about how to view something or think about something.  I thinks its just as important to be the ventor...being able to listen and sympathise and share thoughts and have someone really hear what you are saying.  I always come away from these interactions with friends feeling good, sorted in my head, a more balanced view of looking at whatever was bothering me, or a feeling that I was able to offer support to someone that needed to talk.  And therein lies the beauty of our sisterhood, and therein lies part of what makes us able to do what we do. 

I think something else that makes us special is a joint pride in women that are successful. I'm not saying we are not competitive, because we are, but I feel inspired by women who are truly "doing it for themselves".  I take such intense pride in seeing women working hard to get healthy, women being amazing mothers and career-women and all the while sharing thoughts, ideas, support, care....basically bits of themselves that they don't want back.

So I leave you with this thought.  Go out and conquer.  Because you can.  And if you don't manage this time, you know a girls' got your back.  So feel inspired, beautiful and special and make your friends feel it too.  Its the beauty of this blog.  These thoughts travel.

With all that said...

Always yours in love handles (slowly diminishing...but more on that next week!) :)

xx

What the fat!?!

Picture this.  Two overweight women go to a restaurant for lunch.  They order cuppacinos with cream.  For lunch they have steak, with a blob of butter on top.  They have a side salad instead of the fries, but ask for full fat mayonnaise. The waiter is looking at them with that expression that I now know very well.  That look that says...don't you know fat makes fat?  Why would an overweight person order cream? And butter? Surely that is a heart attack waiting to happen?

Well, not too long ago, that is how I thought too, and millions of other people with me.  Fat makes fat my Mom and Grandma used to say, so it was skim milk and fat free cheese (which by the way was so hard you could barely chew it) and fat free yoghurt, cream on special occasions only, red meat only once a week.  Fat was the enemy, carbs your friend, you name it, wholewheat bread, breakfast cereal, muesli, pasta, potatoes, rice, porridge....and all this thinking supported by that wonderful food triangle with the basis of your diet firmly rooted amongst the carbs (and big business making millions with each mouthful).  With that said, and no disrespect to my dear Mom and those millions of people who have been taught that this is the way to eat and to care for your family, that kind of diet is just plain toxic. 

Why do you ask?  How can you make that claim?  Well, I'm going to give you the heads up.  Because a revolution is coming. Scientists, nutritionists and dieticians all over the world are heralding the call for a change in the way we see nutrition.  Famous scientists and health professionals are revoking previous advice and cautioning people to open their minds to this revolution.  The revolution is Low Carb High Fat (LCHF).  It means you eat less carbs along with a higher proportion of fat. It means minimizing your intake of sugar and starches. Doing this means that you get to eat delicious food and don't calorie-count and lose weight! In fact, LCHF makes it easier to lose weight and to control your blood sugar too (further information on the science is available on www.dietdoctor.com and www.lifezone.se ).

Whilst I'm no scientist, nutritionist or dietician, I am someone that has struggled with their weight for as long as I can remember, someone that suffers with insulin resistance because of polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS) and someone that has become disillusioned with diet after diet and nothing seems to work.  So hungry on a low calorie diet that it felt like my stomach was a black hole.  Experiencing those agonising moments when stepping onto the scale not wanting to look down at the numbers because of being so scared that they are not going to be less.  And then they are not less.  But that was then and this is now. Out with the old and in with the new! Conventional, tried and trusted methods and collective "wisdom" have just made things worse and not better, so I say, "why the fat stick with that"?

As I said in my last blog, I'm not a believer in a quick fix.  I believe that your health takes lots of hard work and that to truly see lasting results you need to change your lifestyle.  LCHF has made me a believer again.  A believer in me and that my body can change and that I can be fit and I can be healthy and feel fantastic.  And I can tell you, person to person, this is the most important of all.  Self belief, confidence and a healthy body image are all attainable goals and I intend on reaching those goals. 

I will share my progress on a weekly basis and hope to be, no WILL BE the proof that all the skeptics can put in their puddings, and eat! So there!

Yours in love handles,
xx

I've discovered in my almost-35 years that most of us want what we don't have, or can't have.  Give a girl a head of beautiful straight hair...guaranteed she wants curls.....blondes want to have dark or red hair (yep folks that was me......and the word "patchy"does not even begin to describe the look that was then hidden for weeks under a hat), brunettes or red-heads want blonde hair....curvaceous girls want to be plankish skinny and the skinny ones would prefer a little meat...and the list just continues ad nauseam.

What is amazing to me though, through lots of introspection and careful human study (!) is that body image and self image is a constantly changing thing and once we think we have what we wanted all along, well its onto the next thing, and most times, that one dream that we always wanted is pretty much unattainable.  I say this because I am using myself as a human research subject here.  You see, I'm the classic pear shape with a bit more pear than stalk if you know what I mean....and trust me when I tell you that I've pretty much struggled all my life to just be a plank.  No boobs, hips and butt would suit me down to the ground. I imagine myself waking up and being able to throw on a pair of tights without snagging the elastic around a bump, or deciding whether the waist band should go above or below the belly button because "my stomach feels thinner today".  Yes I admit all this and I have to laugh at myself because as skinny as I ever become, this is my shape and its not gonna change, not even if every bit of cellulite gets sucked out via Dr Rey's fancy lipo machine. Sigh. And yet....I feel like I have gained a certain wisdom of late, something about being accepting of what you cannot change, and that those that can, DO. 

So, with renewed energy to change what I can, I decided that I needed to change my life.  It all started with a proposal.  It was called #POA which very plainly stands for Plan Of Action, and it was really a few pages that I wrote with some motivation for myself and 4 friends who really wanted to start to live a healthier life by losing weight, exercising and eating better.  So we started in January this year and #POA I'm happy to report is doing great.  We have a BBM group and we arrange our exercise times, we try to work out as much as we can whilst juggling work, school, kids, husbands, partners, being women and just LIFE in general.  I'm not going to lie, its not always easy to make sure you eat right after a long day, or making that effort to get up at the crack of dawn to work out, but it WORKS and 4 months on, we have all lost weight and are fitter and feel fantastic.  Its really the first time that we feel like this is becoming a way of life and that is what makes it sustainable.  Its not a quick fix, but seriously, I think quick fixes are overrated (just the way quickies are!).  This way I get to spend quality time with people I love and on top of that I decided to write a blog about life and the joy of love handles and share thoughts and ideas about losing weight, living a healthier life and overcoming challenges to become the people we want to be, not the body we want to be.  The old adage of better brains than brawn, makes a late comeback to a standing ovation!

Am I going to be the next bikini model? Hell no.  Too many stretch marks for that, and you know what? Its ok.  I want to teach my daughter that you need to have attainable goals, work with what you have, celebrate who you are and stop being your own judge, jury and executioner.  I have wasted way too much time in my life trying to squeeze into a size 10 when I could have been having stimulating conversation with a friend.   

So, with that said....till next time....I look forward to lots more sharing.  After all.... Barney says sharing is caring.........and who is this Pear to argue with a purple dinosaur? #Nuffsaid.

Yours in lovehandles
xx